Dear Spike,

I’ve recently started dating Asmodeus, king of the Hebrew demons.

I love being with him – he’s really experienced and pretty famous among Hebrew demons. Also, depending on which head is in charge – the bull, the ram or the ogre, he’s amazingly versatile where it counts. Also, his flame-breathing lion is a rockin’ ride. Experienced technique, fame and versatility – what else could a girl ask for?

The problem is that recently the heads have started fighting over me. Like, if I have a romantic night full of amazing sex when the bull is in charge, the ogre and ram get pissed off and the three heads and I get into a huge fight; or if the ram head is in charge, the bull and ogre get pissed off and, again, all of us get into a huge argument.

I hate fighting with my boyfriend, and I hate it when he fights with himself.

What do I do?

Maybe One Head is Better

(Image from Collin de Plancy’s Dictionnaire Infernal.) 

Dear MOHIB,

Your situation isn’t too much of a surprise. Asmodeus is a passionate demon – he’s lustful, and his powers are wrath and revenge, which means he has a tendency to cause fights between partners. Also, he loves the bedroom. Him turning on himself, and consequently you, is probably to be expected.

These are innate traits your boyfriend was born with, and they’re likely to stay. He’s been like this for thousands of years – he probably won’t change in your lifetime.

That being said, it’s possible that if you sit down together and discuss how you feel about the situation, and how he feels, you might be able to clear the air long enough to hash out some agreements.

Because this is the deal – you are in a polyamorous relationship; the key to a successful polyamorous relationship is communication, honesty and respect.  You and your boyfriend need to discuss how you will make this relationship work.

I suggest you purchase a copy of The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, 2^nd edition (2009) by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt. Read through the book together and do the exercises.

And talk, lovingly and respectfully, a lot.

You may also want to consider visiting a paranormal- poly-friendly counselor to help you discuss how your relationship will work.

Best of luck!

Spike