Dear Spike,

Last fall you gave me some excellent advice on what to do about my vampire boyfriend who didn’t want to be around me, let alone get down with me, during that time of the month. Your advice was excellent and made a huge difference in our relationship.

Now we have a new problem. As of the beginning of the new year, my vampire boyfriend has had a difficult time getting an erection. Part of the reason we originally got together was because I had read Twilight  and decided I wanted a boyfriend that was as hard as granite, too. Things were great at first. Maybe he wasn’t as hard as granite, but he was pretty mighty down there. But now, since the new year, my boyfriend isn’t as hard as anything, and I’m worried about how solutions like Viagra may interact with his non-human biology.

Sincerely,

Save Me Spike

(Image by Natural Viagra)

Dear SMS,

Wow. Boy, don’t I know the feeling. Girl wants guy, girl gets guy, guy gets… sad.

Luckily, there’s a super-easy solution to get your vampire boyfriend up and running.

You’re right — Viagra isn’t the right solution for a vampire. However, there is the perfect natural supplement that will get your boyfriend in the major vampire leagues: blood. That’s right — your boyfriend probably isn’t getting enough blood in his diet. So, tell him to drink up and all will be well.

As a side note, I’d suggest not letting your boyfriend know you’re with him because of your Twilight vampire love. It might make his lack-of-granite make him feel self-conscious.

Cheers!

Spike